Smitten Over Sushi

Smitten.

That's the word me and my homie of summer 2006 would describe our love lives right now. So I've been scratching my head and smiling a.lot. after hanging with Sherlock(one of our many inside jokes) these last few weeks.

And my optimism in love has been spilling over to others. I had lunch Saturday with one of my mentors and she hadnt talked to a guy friend she was  feelings for in months. She tried calling once after a misunderstanding that was her fault. I told her to call . . .and leave the "why havent called me speech"? for the birds. That isnt gonna get you what you want in the end: your friend back. I finally started reading Steve Harvey's book and I completely agree on sometimes independent women have to remember how to be

 ladies and treat a man like, well, a man. So we practiced the convo. "I havent talked to you" changed to "WE havent talked" with a side of "I Miss talking to you and just wanted to say hello." Who would get defensive with that? No, Im not that wise. A lot of that stayed with me from Susan Taylor last year and she saying how we have to remember to be soft with our men and build them up.

Saturday night was Z's housewarming in BK which only for her would I make that trek! Had fun playing some spades and of course the convo turned to relationships and the fellas breaking down how the break down the Jump Off. The one girl with the ring on it shut it down with a loving smile after her guy went on and on, that he did none of what he was saying to get her. Loved.it.

So yesterday Sherlock taught me how to make sushi . . . no Im not gonna be whipping up spicy tuna rolls for lunch but the whole process is demystified. His recipe for jerk chicken rolls with mango I promised to keep to myself but it was ON POINT. I've been on the prowl for men who cook for work and this brother somehow pops back into my life and can.burn. Im totally going to step my game up. 

I also tried to get to church yesterday but a few minutes late had me outside for 15 minutes till I acknowledged this wasnt going to happen. Guess people thought it was Easter already. The choir sounded good . . ..and I made a note to self to go to the 8am service necxt week. ABout to cross the street to get on the bus, I see Harriet Cole and her daughter on a scooter fly by and smile. Mornings in Harlem.

Loving Reckless . . .Atlanta Housewive style

So yesterday the blog world had its panties in a bunch wondering what was going on in the panties of Dwight . . .The Atlanta Housewives star who is getting a wife of his own as mouths wagged that he was getting married to a woman . . . 

And of course I felt I should go straight to the source, and dialed up Mr. Dwight to get the details.

Me: Hey Dwight, Do I owe you a congratulations?

Dwight: You've been reading the blogs?

Me: (Laughs) No a friend mentioned  . . .(which was true, Niem gchatted me)

The story was correct and my favorite divo was getting hitched and broke it down on how the men just wasnt giving him play like the ladies. 

“It’s really interesting because the men are so standoffish, but the women don’t care," says Dwight. "Most of the men around here are gay, lying to their wives, slipping and dipping and all that, but it is what it is. You have to enjoy life, and that’s what I am doing.”

Of course this set off plenty of debate. Should we all be that open-minded and at least be happy he's being honest? And of course the obvious response . . . "are Black women really that desperate?"

Well, as I promote loving reckless for the year, if you find happiness and love, who am I to judge it? 

I'm just not one to compete on who's the most feminine or cute in a marriage . . .

Could you date  a man who shared he had been bisexual in the past? If he was great and faithful, would you just rather not know?

Mind F*ck

"What kind of mind f*ckery is this?" I sang, on key if I do say so myself, from the backseat during a road trip with friends a while back.

We laughed and put on Amy Winehouse for the ride, as my friend continued the tangled story of her good friend, great friend, actually who really "got" her, though his girlfriend tucked away in another state kept them from officially being together. Then she shared how he had invited her and two other of his female friends to hang out with him one night, none of them knowing each other and just knowing him. I thought he was totally trying to have his cake and eat them too. . .

Could I realistically tell her to just let this guy out of her life since he was had jerk tendencies and was a little dangerous to her sanity? No.

Because the mind loving was just too good and when you find someone who really gets all your jokes and weirdness, it's way harder to let.that.go

So in the backseat I started to break down a Mind F*ck.

First I was excited to share with the group that everyone always reaches a climax in a mind freak, and there is no uncertainty if you don't.

There's not that whole weird "did you come?" question (fellas, we HATE that . . .if you have to ask then I feel you have your answer, no, Naked with socks did a great post on this a while back).

In a mind hook up, it is pretty clear when you get the joke that we have reached higher ground.

And there are always constant new surprises and never the same ole routine. You are also usually always in the mood, or a good inside joke can be all the foreplay needed to get things going.

Tonight during some good mind loving I heard about this guy at the movies . . . with his jumpoff. Me and my homie both knew that was inappropriate JO behavior of his friend. Then the friend texts that well, the girl took him and he was going to get her to do something nasty and I cracked up . . .

Then wondered is there a Mind JO job? Yes indeed. That crass or crazy friend you wouldnt take out or introduce to your friends and you arent comfortable with how they would act in a social setting, but still pick up the phone when they call because they always have a crazy story, or will listen and have crazy feedback to yours, well thats a mental jump off.

Mind F*cks arent anything to play with