Is being in a relationship like riding a bike?
I was catching up with my cousin last week, who is probably just like one of your cousins. She’s the gorgeous, successful, fly and single one, with enough ambition to share.
After getting her career to where she wants it and hearing her biological clock get a little louder (her words: “I feel my eggs starting to dry up. I’m not Halle Berry!”), she is ready and hoping for a serious relationship that leads to more.
With her own starting five of men to take her out, meeting guys isn’t the problem.
But wanting to actually share her time and space with someone? An issue.
She’s gotten so used to doing her own thing and having the place to herself, she’s looking at her watch and ready to show any suitor the door before the nightly news starts.
So she developed the perfect plan to getting better with intimacy: get a dog.
My eyes lit up with this revelation.
She then filled me in how a dog was the perfect prep for a boyfriend, how it will make her more warm and affectionate, her top choices for dog (must fit in purse) and friends who’ve rebounded from depression by getting a dog.
I congratulated her on being honest enough with herself to realize she wasn’t totally open to the intimacy she craves. That’s not easy. I also wished her well, if this was what she really wants.
But later that night I wondered if Madame Fifi will become another reason the new guy can’t come over.
If the real issue is wanting to build stronger connections with the opposite sex, than that’s where your focus has to be. A dog can be a beautiful part of your life and more studies prove how smart they really are. But, I have yet to meet the dog who can rub your feet or make pancakes on Saturday morning.
What do you think? Is getting a dog a good way to prepare yourself for a relationship?
Charreah K. Jackson is a writer, editor and certified family life educator. An Atlanta-native, she now lives in Harlem, New York.
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