New Blog: Love Jones Lane

So I know I seem to have a new blog like every five minutes, but this ones been on my heart A LONG time and I finally just sat down and did it. (beefed up my skills a little as well, using websites and tips to build it and create a logo myself:)

Welcome to Love Jones Lane, a new place to celebrate and discuss strong relationships and real love.

The media returned the spotlight to Black women being single and scared, and I finally had enough.

So far gone from the idea that we could have the lives and families we dreamed of that it didnt take anyone else to call us bitter bitches. We did it ourselves.

Of course, there is no denying to great work to be done to rebuild relationships between Black men and women, and our families.

For February, each weekday a love story of people of color in love and committed to making it work will post. And this is a community, so please feel free to write and send stories or leads to black couples, at love@lovejoneslane.com

Cut up my V-Card, I just got laid.

My bf shares his story of getting laid for the first time . . .

I remember it like it was yesterday, Oct. 14th 2009, the first time I ever got laid.

It started like any other day until I was called into a closed-door meeting w/ my director. I got a strange feeling of deja vu. It started with: “There's no easy way for me to say this...” Right there, I knew. I did my best to hold in my smile as she continued. “...We’ve had some major budget cuts and we have to let you go.” I smiled and cracked a few jokes as we went over the details and I left her office smiling from ear to ear. You see I had dreamt this whole scenario about a week before it actually happened. When I awoke I was happier than a fat kid at a cake convention.

Some of my co-workers were a little nervous as they were in line to be called in and didn’t know what to expect. They asked me what my meeting was about, but I told them it was nothing major and kept the news to myself.

By the time we had the official dept. meeting I was totally out of work mode. I had stopped my ‘to do’ list and shredded it with no intentions of looking back. At some point in the meeting one of my coworkers burst into tears as she started her farewell speech. It was pretty good, so good I found myself whispering ’end scene’ as she finished.

After the meeting I spoke with some of my coworkers and was my usual smiling joking self. Those that were staying offered their sympathy but this wasn’t a sad time for me. I felt like that guy at a funeral who tells everyone: “Don’t be sad, it’s a celebration and that’s what the deceased would want.” They didn’t know how to take my good mood. Which compounded the strangeness of it all since I was the ‘deceased’ In this case.

My last day was Friday, October 16^th, 2009. I packed my personal belongings over the preceding 2 days and even was gifted a large bottle of Hennessey as well as taken out on a final team lunch with several of my coworkers.

I was distinctly reminded of my graduation from College. A bittersweet moment in time when goodbyes are said; and although you’re happy that its over, you know things will never be the same again. With my ‘V’ card officially handed in I popped the bottle of Hennessey and poured cups for all who were up for a drink. We drank until the bottle was done. I sent my farewell email along with an important note to myself. As I walked outside to catch a cab my blackberry vibrated with a new message. It was the note I had just sent.

It said “Welcome, to the rest of your life Steph.”

Small World After All

A saved post from November . . .

New York may be the capital of the world, but it's also a small town, where your boyfriend's cousin is also your best friend's boss.

You see the same people around and quickly discover mutual acquaintances when you do meet new faces.

Forget six degrees. It's two and a half.

So when it comes to careers and couples, your past can definitely be your present.

Me and the boyfriend were laughing hard earlier this week at one guy's laid off story of getting his first interview in months. He got to the office and he and the CEO kept thinking the other looked familiar. Then it clicked. The CEO was the same guy the interviewee bullied in elementary school. He was promptly escorted out with security.

Fast forward to last night and I am mingling with colleagues at a Good Hair panel, ready for a lively and hearty talk on our issues as Black women when it comes to hair, color and all the issues in between.

I take a seat and the lady behind me taps my shoulder.

"You went to Howard?" she asks.

"Yeah," I answer, having no memory of ever meeting her. She says how she remembers me and mentions a mutual acquaintance. We laugh and talk. She's originally from the city but has travelled all over the world and is back figuring her next move. She asks for my info for us to hang out sometime and I give her my email address, since I dont have my new cards yet. I tell her to email me her info, when she says she can do better. She pulls out her colorful business logo, with her info on the back.

"My boyfriend has one of your shirts," I say, eyeing the one of kind logo. The shirt is DOPE and I asked him all about when we wore it. He mentioned a t-shirt designer who was growing her business.

She looks at me inquisitively, not sure if I'm sure this is the same company.

"He went to Howard too," I share. And she perks up and asks his name. I realize I may have stumbled into TMI, as I stall, then say his name.

"Yeah, he brought one of my first designs, Tell him hello." she smiles and we eye each other at the happenstance of us sitting a row a part and how our paths have crossed.

My work buddy gets there and we settle down as the panel begins. It's amazing and so many different stories of black hair and identity are shared, and why we do what we do to our hair, a topic Chris Rock NEVER addressed. As one sister says how she hasn't gotten a promotion since going natural, Michaela Angela Davis shares how she was chased because of her natural blond thick braids, as girls surrounded her to cut them off.

Afterwards, I mingled some more and said by to former coworkers, friends and my new found t-shirt making acquaintance.

Later that night, the boyfriend and I have movie night and I break out my Phase Ten cards, as Stevie Wonder plays. It's about 3am.

I remember the t-shirt maker's hello and break out the logo card and tell him my story.

He smiles. . . Then says he use to have a thing for her.

I try and think back to what her facial reaction was when I said his name.

He's launched into their story of timing always being off, sending messages between their friends they were interested at different times, and one always having a boyfriend or girlfriend when the other was single, so they never dated.

I sigh. Glad their was no ex drama there, curious how she feels about the situation of stumbling upon me . . . and wondering if we still will grab drinks.

Back to work . . .

I know it's been a minute, and please excuse the delay:) But I come bearing plenty of updates.

Right after interviewing for the job and turning in the edit test, the Christmas holidays came. Me and the boyfriend spent Christmas in New York and had a blast.

On Christmas Eve we finally saw the Xtreme Mammals exhibit at the Natural History Museum.

And two days after Christmas, we were on a train to Connecticut to celebrate his birthday at a Bed and Breakfast I found online (Im always on the prowl for a good deal and found a great one:). Then we were back in the city to celebrate New Year's Eve as one of his friends came to town.

I had an extra reason to smile as we brought in the next decade. A few hours before heading out, as snow flakes fell to the ground I got a call I had advanced to the next phase for the job and would be speaking the next week with the client I would possibly be working with.

Refelctive as 2010 began, I headed to the potential job's office for the conference call with the client. And I was feeling I overprepared, as I walked out not sure what they thought of me and thinking, "Is that it?"

And it was. Two days later I got a call and was offered the job. It felt (feels) surreal that it all happened so fast, and replying to a posting on MediaBistro has lead to so much. I didnt have long to think it over as I reviewed the offer letter, while editing the tropical clothes I was taking to Mexico the next day. I prayed, then replied to the email, and accepted the job.

At 9am the next morning I was in a cab to the airport. Along with celebrating the 26th birthday of one of my favorite people, I got some R&R in before going back to a day job.

I came back excited for an awesome new opportunity as the Social Media Editor at a fashion and beauty PR firm.

I also vowed to myself to use the knowledge I had gained with my past work experience including these promises to myslef:

1) Use EVERY Vacation Day

2) Remember perception reality, look at yourself through other people's eyes

3) Have a full life outside of your job. It will help keep everything in perspective as you work hard

4) Write down what you want out of the experience and be sure to achieve those goals

5) Always remember your worth!

Thanks for all the support!