sista . . .

Dreamin

Sittin here doing what I often do best: procrastinating. I have a big midterm in Africana Studies and I cant seem to focus. Possibly because Im watching girlfriends and all the other UPN shows and excited that Top Model is coming back on Wednesday. Im just excited about a lot of things going on - like my big time internship this summer, our Magazine Conference coming up, going home on Friday, my mom's surprise award coming up and the list goes on. I also sort of feel like im looking at myself from the outside watching my old habits die hard. Like the fact that I am eating now & laters, though I really need to cut down on candy or that Im even writing this blog since I should be studying. But with the bad habits, some of my good habits are hanging around too.
So last night I'm instant messaging one of my buddies and dishing some juicy gossip when I get the urge to open back up the novel Im writing and get back on it. Though it was funny watching my mom read my 'Have you written your page today? If not sit your ASS down!' sign on my door, looking at the sign also reminds me of the go getter I am and for the need for me to drop my proscratinating habit with the quickness.
After a meeting with our magazine group, which always leave me nostalgic and inspired, Im dreamin of my future and how fabulous my summer be, how great it will be to shop publishers this summer and how I really need to not get stuck in the dream, but wake the hell up and do something about them. I guess Ill start with my midterm studies.

nite!

Don't say good bye say good night

met this guy night before last. He was cool. In town for a conference where I met him as I was hanging with two of my high school buddies who were here for the same event. Chilling downstairs in the bar, he says he can make my heart beat fast and ask if I want to go upstairs to his room. Now he didn't say it in that context and it sort of was a challenge as I said my heart doesn't race unless I want it to. But still he has no idea how close he was to me getting up and walking away and pegging him as another negro out for the goods.

I didn't though. With a rolled eye and bended brow I told him 'no' and the conversation moved on. I went on to learn some things I didn't know. like how u should never call locs 'dreads' as other cultures called them that stemming from 'dreadful' and how piru relates to the bloods. I also realized how talented this brother was when he did a poem for me and my friend and sort of dedicated another one to me I think, during a lil impromptu open mic the group started. Though I probably won't see this guy any time soon, he did make me wonder how many other cool guys I have overlooked b/c they may have said something out of pocket, and how I probably missed out on some cool conversations because I'm so sure the guy is trying to get in my pants.

Im just thankful for this reality check. and for the reality check I got last night at Howard's $200 a plate Charter Day dinner. Talking bout relationship with the girls in the bathroom, an alum told us that this is the best spot for us to find good mates and to be willing to overlook some of the things these guys do because their still growing. She told us how she met her trauma surgeon when he was still ashy at Howard. So with so many lessons coming my way, I think I need to reevaluate my standards. Im not even looking for a guy because I have way to much to work out with myself. But when I am, Im not gonna be such a hard ass.

My motto remains: "I don't want no fly guy, I just want a shy guy"