I am not my hair!!!

I have to start this post off with words that are really weird to type: R.I.P. Nicole Murphy!
Sadly, Along with a hey, my high school buddy John, asks me 'Did you hear about Nicole?' he then tells me about one of my classmates, Nicole Murphy, passed away and it blows my mind. me and her were on the newspaper staff together and spent a lot of time together. she had Sickle Cell and I later find out she died in her sleep. Her funeral is Saturday - the day before Mothers Day. I definitely pray for her mom. Later in the week, I am flipping through my yearbook with friends and the first yearbook signing I see is from her. Just makes me see how important it is to value life!!!!!!!!!!!!
After John tells me the news about Nicole, I go outside and say goodbye to my family, head to my car to get my cell phone and plan on going back into the mall to look around. Before I get to my car this dude stops me and tries to holler. Though my usual routine is to throw out the "I have a boyfriend" line - which I now secretly wish were true- and keep it moving, I like this guys approach. so I lean in the window and listen. he introduces himself (his name is Chauncey) and I do the same, we chat a bit though I know my family can probably see us so I end the convo. As I am about to walk away I hear him say "you got some pretty hair." He drives away and I don't know how to react. I mean I love my new beyonce-ish wet'n'wavy 'do but its just for some summer fun. Hope that's not the only reason he tried to talk . . .
But I also have my own confession. As I basically hid behind my sister's bday party and didn't even go to church the first weekend I was home, as soon as I got my hair done I was in the streets. I already LOVED India Arie's 'I am not my hair' jam. And the remix with Akon makes me love it even more. As me and Justin sat in Atlanta traffic on our trip home last week, I heard V-103 talk about a secret concert they were putting on that night with Arie and I sooo wish I could have gone. I have loved her since her first album and she is one of the rare artists whose album I actually buy. But as I transform from caterpillar to butterfly, just because my hairdresser since 5th grade, Ms. Sheila (who truly understands my struggle as she grew my hair out for me in 6th grade with crochet braids, and ironically whose chair I sat in last March when my hair inevitably came out) hooks me up with a hot new 'do, I feel a little guilty for not being able to really live out the lyrics of the song. I mean, my hair is pretty and has a nice little curl in its natural state. But I still am building the confidence I need to really rock it. I did go a few days and run errands rocking a cute natural style, but as soon as Ms. Sheila was free I raced to her house and got hooked up. I know I am not my hair inside my head, but outside it is still a struggle.

Queen