Dont Live For Them

September 30, 2009

I have this theory that I mostly keep to myself, but our First Lady made me want to share.

Real Talk From Reah: Parents, don't fall too deeply in love with your kids.

Yes, you should love them and want more for them and make sacrifices to provide for them. But you cant stop living your life or indulging your interests. Because though you birth them, kids aren't possessions that you will control forever and they have their own life to go off and live. So if you are only living for them, what happens when they go start their own family? Love them and help shape them to make the most of their own life - while continuing to love yourself.

So seeing Mrs. O's quote on feministing from Prevention magazine made me smile, on learning what not to do from her mom, which is to sacrifice your entire being for your kids:

"She'd say being a good mother isn't all about sacrificing. It's really investing and putting yourself higher on your priority list."

"Throughout my life, I've learned to make choices that make me happy and make sense for me. . . So I have freed myself to put me on the priority list and say, yes, I can make choices that make me happy, and it will ripple and benefit my kids, my husband and my physical health."

"That's hard for women to own. We're not taught to do that. It's a lesson that I want to teach my girls."

See why I heart her?