June 25, 2006

A week ago was father's day. I read the cynic's blog and felt guilty for not blogging about my own pappy.

I love my daddy. I have always loved my daddy. To the point of when I was little and I ever felt anyone was talking negatively about him, even if it was his mom just saying he called, being the cry baby/tom boy I was, I would run from the room crying "you talking about my daddy."

My parents divorced when I was four. Though the marriage was really over since I was two. I don't have memories of my parents fighting. They broke up before it got that bad. I had a good childhood. Though I would have liked to see my dad more than the twice a year when he was living in LA, but I never once doubted his love for me. But I still feel in my heart him and my mom will never know what it was like for me and my brother since they both grew up in a house with two loving parents who lived out 'till death do us part.' I try not to dwell on the what-ifs of life . . .but sometimes I can't help but wonder what it could have been like had they fought a little harder to make the marriage work. oh well.

My dad got my Father's day card on Monday. He loved it. Just like he loves everything I do now. It wasn't until I was writing this post that I realized I have let go the anger I once had towards him once I realized he was the cause of our happy home breaking up. But now a little older, I have accepted our odd family where he and my baby sister (his daughter) can come spend the night at my house and my mom be fine with it.I laugh at the ludicrous-ness of thoughts I once had to have my mom walk me down the aisle since he wasn't Bill Cosby growing up. I am thankful for his unconditional love now, more than I have ever been. Because he wasn't Heathcliff Huxtable . . .but neither was I Rudy, so I guess we are even. I know he probably will never read this (and I hope not since that would mean he is reading other posts:) but I love you dad and doesn't have to be father's day for me to say so