Spanx Me

He is by far one of the finest men I have ever laid eyes on. Dipped in chocolate. Dimpled smirk. Pearly white teeth. Big brown eyes. Nice natural muscular build. Plenty of swag. The longest eye lashes I've ever seen. {got a tale on fake lashes for another time } He is the living breathing fantasy man Midnight from The Coldest Winter Ever.

I smile every time I see him. Then always settles a sinking feeling for the great man he could have been, well that he could still be. If he wasn't in these streets making a living. If living is what you could call it with an uncut umbilical cord always pulling him back to the few blocks he has probably spent his whole life in. And in the shadows of the capital of the world. Damn.

We chat all the time. He makes me laugh. I overestimate my strength and underestimate how heavy eggs, milk and lean cuisine meals weigh. He helps me take my groceries upstairs. Never once has he said anything inappropriate. Did I mention he has serious swag?

Yesterday morning I saw him. We smiled. He was standing with a group of guys. I was rushing, like I have been every morning this week with the craziness of a relaunch over my head and mama has been stepping it up (ok, a few tantrums in between . . .)

The eyes of the guys he is with aren't as kind as his. At the last minute I threw on a dress after planning to wear jeans, when I remembered it was the first day of my new boss and I wanted to be in a dress. It wasn't one of my usual wrap dresses and in my haste I didn't put on some boy shorts or even a slip . . .

Midnight was cordial. . . and so were the fellas. Until I walked past: "You jiggling baby, go head baby," the biggest one sang. I didn't want to look back and see if joined in the laughing.

This morning I crossed the street when I saw a whole nother group of guys. I'm usually sweet and if you say good morning I speak. You never know how far a sweet smile and hello can go.

This morning, as I walked to the office from the train, I looked up at the clock at the Lehman Brothers building. Sank in further how bad this economy is. I should by stock in Spanx.