I don't think I would date a man I met in the strip club or really just visit a strip club, but I thought they were cute tips.
As long as you can stand by your tips, that's what matters. Believe me, as a writer I've had my fair share of letters to the editor not agreeing on my reporting skills or stance and calls and emails. It means that people are reading your stuff. I admit the first one I got kind of hurt my feelings, then I got over it and was happy that people were really reading my writing. Keep up the good work!
yeah I don't think I'd date a guy I met a strip club either. It sounds really seedy. and if he's goign to strip clubs while he's "single," who's to say he'll congtinue to frequent those joints when we're together? i hate to judge a book by its cover, but i might have to cala time out on this one.
Um, if I met him at a strip club, that would mean that I was there as well, and since I'm relatively certain I'm not a sleezebag, then far be it for me to decide in advance that he must be as well. So yes, if this guy had endearing qualities and didn't try to get all Mac-alicious when we first met, then I would date a guy I met in a strip club.
I have a couple of questions:
1) You mention that you didn't meet your man at a strip club. So, if you were not in a relationship, would you be completely comfortable initiating a relationship with a man you met there?
2) If not, why encourage other women to do something YOU wouldn't do?
Obviously, the second question doesn't apply if the answer to the first is yes. I'm just curious, really.
To answer your question, no I wouldn't. But then, I'm in Atlanta - lived here for over 10 years, have never been to a strip club, and have no desire to go to a strip club. That's just not how I roll. But then, I also admit that I don't believe there's a shortage of good, available men.
I hit the strip club every time I've in Atlanta— Magic City, Body Tapp, Strokers, and some less pristine joints too. It's like the club with cheaper drinks. I've not dated anyone I've met there, but I've yucked it up with some cool dudes that I stayed in touch with (they were also friends of some of the folks I rolled with.) They've never come at me sideways or treated me like anything less than a lady. I require respect everywhere I go and men abide. It's really that simple. If I met a guy that did it for me while i was hanging at the strip club, yeah, I'd hang out with him to see what he's about.
I would have no problem with my man going to a strip spot before I dated him or while I'm dating him. It's not that big to me. So he likes to watch booty shake... and what? I guess because I've been to enough clubs and seen what goes on that I'm not nervous about what goes on there.
Cause you meet a man, go on a date with a man, does mean he has to be your man. I think people have forgotten how to date and just have fun. You can meet a good man in the strip club and a bad man in the pews.
great article (and I say that for obvious reasons.)
— Belle
PS: be flattered that your writing inspires dialogue. That's kinda the whole point of being a writer, yes?
I think the suggestion to meet a man at the strip club and expect anything other than a booty call is insane. Why would you suggest such a thing? Why should sisters have to settle for less just to get any black man who is breathing? Essence and you should be ashamed.
I wanted to get in here before the WAOD crew rolls in, but I'm too late, clearly. Gina is clearly riling up her audience by misrepresenting your words, but eh.
Tasha212, I think a lot of ladies are under the false expectation that men who go to the strip club are the dregs of society. Ask your successful, packed-resume male friends (the 'good' guys that seem to be in high demand) if they go to the club, and take note. If they say no, they're probably lying.
Shani-O,
My point was not about the character of men who go to strip club. Yes, I know that nice guys go strip clubs, but have you ever heard of them dating the women that they meet there? I seriously doubt that a man is gonna take a woman that he meets in a strip club seriously or take her out on a "nice date".
Hi there!
I would never go to a strip club to meet men... I don't understand why women who are evolved would find anything in common with men who want to be in an atmosphere where women are being fetishized and objectified...
I don't get it.
You are certainly entitled to your opinion, though.
I am disappointed with Essence Magazine because it seems to reinforce this preposterous notion that black women need to lower their standards in order to find happiness.... buying a drink for a man... ummm....no....that's soooo desperate.
So many black women seem to have forgotten that high caliber men enjoy being able to pursue a woman who they want to feel every other man can not have access to.
Maybe I'm just much, much older than all of you... *smiles*
I don't think I could seriously date a man I met at the strip club. I'll always have an eyebrow raised...and for what it's worth, he should be raising eyebrows at me, too!
I do, however, know that in ATL the strip club scene is a lot different. Though I've never been, I have a longtime 'net buddy from ATL who always talks about the strip club. It seems to be less taboo in ATL for whatever reason. Seems like the strip club is to ATL what Wal-Mart is to Smalltown, USA...hehe. So I can see why you suggested it.