Dont Live For Them

I have this theory that I mostly keep to myself, but our First Lady made me want to share.

Real Talk From Reah: Parents, don't fall too deeply in love with your kids.

Yes, you should love them and want more for them and make sacrifices to provide for them. But you cant stop living your life or indulging your interests. Because though you birth them, kids aren't possessions that you will control forever and they have their own life to go off and live. So if you are only living for them, what happens when they go start their own family? Love them and help shape them to make the most of their own life - while continuing to love yourself.

So seeing Mrs. O's quote on feministing from Prevention magazine made me smile, on learning what not to do from her mom, which is to sacrifice your entire being for your kids:

"She'd say being a good mother isn't all about sacrificing. It's really investing and putting yourself higher on your priority list."

"Throughout my life, I've learned to make choices that make me happy and make sense for me. . . So I have freed myself to put me on the priority list and say, yes, I can make choices that make me happy, and it will ripple and benefit my kids, my husband and my physical health."

"That's hard for women to own. We're not taught to do that. It's a lesson that I want to teach my girls."

See why I heart her?

Faithful in the NFL

Gasp. There are good guys who happen to play a sport for a living. And I had the pleasure of interviewing one.

Meet Thomas Jones, everything you thought an NFL player wasn't.

Yeah, he rocks the big diamonds, Gucci belts and plenty of tats. But he's also finishing his Master's degree in Education, and still says yes ma'am and no sir to his parents - who happen to be married for 35 years and raised seven kids (they had to take two trips to church on Sundays to get everybody there in their one car).

He has shown his little brother the ropes, who also plays professional football, and shares proudly how happy he was to retire his mom, after she worked 20 years in a Virgina coal mine.

As I sat and chatted with this man, I was estatic to see guys like him existed and hope more people encounter Black men like that - who credit their dads for their success (Niema has a great post on the impact a good day makes up now), who give back till it hurts a little, know where to give credit for the success to, and appreciate the love of a strong and spiritual woman - his happens to be actress Megan Good.

He's not perfect. But he is trying his best and making a difference.

Gotta Have It

I need this series on DVD in my life!

Did some serious digging for a gallery of Black couples on sitcoms today and came back across Jill Scott in Botswana in "The No.1 Ladies Detective Agency." I didnt have HBO when it was on the air and now really want to see. Found out it is on DVD - at $50. Mamas working on being a better budgeter (saving for the big things) so this has to wait a little. And if you want it for a gift, I wont mind at all:)

But the tough time I had finding Black couples on TV made me sad - and miss all the shows that have come and gone. (Cosbys, Different World, Family Matters, Fresh Prince, In The House, Sister, Sister, Amen, Girlfriends, Martin, The Parkers, Moesha, Everybody Hates Chris, shoot - Id even take Out All Night with Morris Chestnut's sexy behind)

So excited for Sherri Shepherd's new sitcom on Lifetime. Theo . . .I mean Malcolm Jamal Warner plays her ex-husband. I stopped by the set of the show to interview her about her weight loss and realized how much I missed Black sitcoms still on the air.

I mean, for a lot of people the Cosbys were one of few examples of happily married Black couples they knew. Just imagine if those reruns werent on now, what would the kids have to see?

Cupid Doesn't Lie

"I just went on a date," I said, all giddy on the phone.

My boyfriend wasn't as amused on the other end, as he called last week to see if I was wrapping up at work.

He asked if I was going to elaborate. I relayed the fun afternoon of coordinating a date for actress Yvette Nicole Brown - her first blind date.

She had dropped by the office earlier in the week discussing her new show "Community" on NBC. Of course we had to ask how the dating scene was going in Los Angeles. She was candid on the lack of interest men give women with natural hair and curves in Hollywood. She also mentioned how much she was enjoying the attention from guys in New York, and being called 'sis.' So we took the bait and asked to set her up on a date.

Me and the fab BB went through our rolodexes for men and I stumbled on a possible great guy. Poet and professor Mo Beasely. I met him at Howard's Kwanzaa event (who doesn't love a Bison man:), and loved his energy. And the man can sure write and perform a poem. I called and he was right up her alley, 41 and up for a fun and no pressure or strings date.

After appearing on Wendy William's show last Thursday, Yvette came on by the office. And while on the show Wendy of course asked her about dating, and Yvette slid in we were hooking her up!

We chatted withYvette about dating, passed her some beauty goodies, talked natural hair, showed her picture of Mo who she thought was Cute and then it was time for the date! We walked over to the restaurant and I went to meet Mo. He looked great walking up and was excited to meet this down sister. He walked in and the two embraced like old friends and were off to their date. We sat giddy at the bar as they headed off and enjoyed an afternoon lunch, for Yvette had to head to a acting gig. I felt like cupid:)

Monday, Yvette called into the Wendy Williams show and described the date, and meeting Mo. Then today Wendy shouted out the date photos and story featured on Essence.com.

Bang, Bang. Cupid just bought a gun, as the homie Hal Linton says. Saw him this week at Singersroom.com event on Bowery with my fellow GA peach Bethani. Good times. Love does make your soul crawl out from its hiding place, as Dr. Angelou says and we gotta something different if we want new results in our love lives! For Yvette, it was her first blind date!!


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A Woman's Work

So, I have been itching to post about the amazing time and life changing experience I had at the Women + Power Conference at Omega.

I met phenomenal women from around the country, and was definitely humbled and jolted by their passion and action to change the world.

It reminded me of the power in us all to make a difference - something I had almost forgotten. And that everyday people make change. People like Gloria Steinem, Helen Thomas, Elizabeth Lesser and Isabel Allende who still make themselves laugh.

And I was more certain than ever of my mission to do my little part in this big world. My mission is doing my part to help build stronger couples and relationships, which are the root of strong families and communities.

Helen Thomas at 89, is still covering the U.S. President, a job she has done for every President since JFK. I just was soaking up her knowledge. She didn't sugar coat the facts of women losing some of our inate humility and compassion to play with the big boys in Washington. Much like the quote the mesmerizing Elizabeth Lesser shared by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

Hair Hoppin'

Last night I had a ball at Eniola's bday party at Aspen on 22nd. Walking to the spot I see Catch 22 is closed. Wasnt I just there for a Harlem Heights event in the spring? Time's a changing . . .

And this picture made me think of a topic early at work: the phrase Hair Hoppers. Our fashion and beauty editor wanted to know if I thought it would be offensive. Not at all. I am the queen of Hair Hopping. I go straight, curly, long pony tail, tight puff, and sometimes all in one week.

Its no secret I LOVE Living Single and coined this my Regine season about a year ago, fully allowing myself to try out new styles and mix and mingle with new guys at my fancy (cue Lorraine Hansberry's quote;).

So I did check out of the dating scene but my hair hopping continues, especially in the transition i find myself in returning back to natural hair, after a short perm stint.

Im giving my hair a break and been rocking a full sew-in that I got right before Puerto Rico to be able to swim at will with none of the Black woman hair holdups. It brings me back to getting crochet braids for a full year in 6th grade. My BFF still loves to laugh at those days and my braids, but you couldnt tell me a thing as I went every six weeks like clock work to get my real hair cornrowed and each braid literally crocheted to my cornrow. It took my short and damaged hair to down past my shoulders and my hair was healthy and blowing by the time I headed to middle school for 7th grade. thanks Ms. Sheila:)

Which also brings me to my issue with all this hoopla over Tyra Banks wearing just her natural next week . . .anyone who has had ll there hair cornrowed will tell you how much their hair grew. So five years of having most of your hair stored to grow and get healthy has me believing her hair will be looking long, and close to her usual do, thanks to her tight weave cycle . . .we shall see . . .

For now I'm continuing my hair hopping