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With Free Time Comes Thoughts on Infidelity

November 14, 2009

So being laid, has given me a chance to not only wallow in my bed, but also my thoughts as I get off of cruise control.

This morning me and the bf had the best heart to heart on church, religion and spirituality (three totally different things) that we have had in months.

Now I'm sitting in my apartment alone, working on my own website. And I feel a tightness in my chest, as A Keys belts out.

Alicia Keys's "Nothing Even Matters" is my jam. But with this new feeling me, I consciously feel what my subconscious has long felt: Not you too Alicia!!

I'm not extra old fashioned when it comes to matters of the heart and open to the many ways love can come knocking.

But a married man is married until he's not.

I didn't rush to judgement on the Alicia Keys/Swiss Beatz love triangle rumors, hoping she would say, miss girl power respects women enough not to go after another woman's man. But the pictures and a personal note from his ex-wife, have made it harder to ignore, especially as Alicia makes the rounds to sell the new album on love, mute on her own love life. I was flipping through People on the train yesterday and there she was being recognized for the great work she does for children with AIDS. That's the Alicia I am happy to have as my little sister's idol. Not the one rumored of home-wrecking.

I don't think celebrities should be held to a higher moral code or the sole role models of kids, but dating someone who is single isn't too much ask.

And if you brand yourself as the superwoman shero, it's not a stretch that married men not be a part of your dating pool.

At least let the ink dry before you swoop in. This goes to Gabby too. Your lack of discretion does a national nod to it being ok to mess with another woman's man.

I was a volunteer for an organization doing amazing things and building a charter school for orphans. So learning the founder was dating and had a child by a prominent and married business man who I admired was offputting. I think she is amazing and her child a doll, but any way you slice it, it is stll messy and having a relationship with another woman's husband.

Of course you can say the relationship was over before you got there and that he's not emotionally involved with her, but if you have to have that many excuses for your love is it really that right?

You didnt take those vows, but he did and is still technically someone's husband. A married man can't cheat if their aren't women who join the party. We all deserve more.

4 comments:

  1. Candice Frederick said...:

    i'm with you on this. i like alicia, but she really stooped low on this one.

  1. Anna said...:

    You didnt take those vows, but he did and is still technically someone's husband. A married man can't cheat if their arent women who join the party. We all deserve more.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    We married woman do deserve more. Yes the man may be the one who took the vows along with his new wife, but a home can't be wrecked without one wrecking it. I get mad at "the wife" for only blaming the other woman for her spouse cheating. It does take two and some will cheat beause they can. My hubby has never cheated on me and if he did I would not blame him or the other woman but "me".

  1. Tara said...:

    It's so hard for me. I really, really admire Alicia for all her charitable work and her songs are the fire, but this one is hard for me to let go.(ESPECIALLY since my husband has a thing for her. Now he might think he has a shot, wedding ring or no wedding ring. LOL) I listened to her "Superwoman" song as I was giving birth to my son! Our connection runs deep!

    I think you're right. I think all parties have some of the blame and it's just not right to flaunting your love life when the ink is not dry on the papers. I do reserve most of the blame on Swizz Beats (seriously, what is his real name? I feel stupid calling him that). I think sleeping with a married man is about wanting more for yourself, regardless of how you feel about the wife or what he told you the status of their relationship was. Point blank - he's still legally obligated to her and what are you? A side piece. That's not empowering or "real."

    Great post!

  1. Neems said...:

    *And if you brand yourself as the superwoman shero, it's not a stretch that married men not be a part of your dating pool.*

    You said what I wanted to say on the subject. I can't listen to her knew songs or see her get recognition for good work without thinking of Swizzy's wife.