So . . .It's not all about me

February 12, 2008
Hands up now wave. . .

So yeah, basking in all the birthday love I was excited to go to church on Sunday. Grabbed a new Laundry dress I love and got for a steal and accomplishes that sexy yet classy look and met Nicole at First Corinthian on 116th. Since I was home for MLK weekend and my mom was watching the news and saw Rev. Butts endorse Hillary on a Sunday in the pulpit I haven't been back to Abyssinian.

It's not his support of Hillary that bothers me, I mean many of Black NY goes way back with the Clinton camp so it was only a matter of time before they called and asked for the return of the back scratch. But on a Sunday morning after maybe a crazy weekend and going into a hectic week I want a word from God - not a Senator.

So that's why I had started going back to First Corinthian. My buddy and former co-worker Jeanine first invited me there this summer and the first part that attracted me was the choir. They jam!!! and jump, and shout, and get you out of your seat.
So after last week's message on 'The Joy in Waiting' and how God sometimes waits to give us those things he has promised until we are ready to receive them (yes, he was ALL over my toes), I was all set for something that would get me through the week.

And boy did I get it.

But not in the way I expected.

Pastor Mike (yeah, that's what everyone calls him, isn't that pretty cool. . .no pretension, just what I need) went on to break down the difference between praise and worship: sacrifice.

I realized I had no problem thanking God for my many blessings like having cool people like BB and Jameil and Mikel and Belle and my Teacakes in my life, and getting these fly mary jane peep toe tan patent leather Betsey Johnson shoes for a steal (you know she likes to do a lot;), but what had I ever really given up? What was I willing to sacrifice?

And I realized, or better yet was reminded since I have known for a while this is a problem I need to work on, I have to sacrifice myself, take all the emphasis off of me. Self-love is cool. Being stuck on your self, well not so much. And Im not necesarily conceited, more like consumed with me-thoughts all the time(I mean, just look what I named this blog, which just turned 2 years old by the way).
But there is a great big world out there that is way more interesting than me.

So yeah, with these type of thoughts I decided to join the church. Decided to step up my faith and learn more about worship.
Yes I will still be reading my horoscope in AM-NY every morning . ..because well, I dont like to put God in a box. And if life can place me and a a girl I've known since 5th grade and had a falling out with in high school in the pew in front of me on Sunday morning, than Im definitely open to patterns in when we entered this world telling a lot about how our time here will be.

And for someone who was raised going to church and with a church family its something you didnt realize you missed so much until you get a glimpse.

And yeah, it doesnt hurt the congregation is young and energetic. So I feel good. Real good. And content that what makes me feel good cant ever be taken away.

So, Im just finishing taking these splinters out my back I picked up from backsliding. But God does have a sense of humor and laughed just as hard as we did at Diddy explaining the epidemic in our community that is b*tch-ass-ness.

Ill be praying for them all.


  1. Bsquared said...:

    C -

    This is good stuff! Just earlier today I was listening to Can You Stand The Rain (Naz inspired the New Edition) and I thought about how the lyrics of that song has so many parallels to my relationship with God. One of my all-time fave sermons challenged the me to pray for someone other than myself. Like we pretty much all pray for prosperity and fulfilling relationships and for our sick and shut-in friends and fam. But praying for homeless folks on a night like tonight when it's brick outside or for rape victims... That selfless type of praying is something I honestly wasn't doing too much of before hearing that sermon and this post just reminded me of how important it is. So THANK YOU.

    And by the way; thanks for the shout too. ;-)

  1. Mademoiselle M said...:

    great post. I'm feeling you on this. And lmao @ the splinters.

    I read this on a license plate frame the other day: Turn around, God allows U-Turns. How cute is that. It's just never to late to let God know that you are serious and ready to commit to him! YAY!

  1. CJ said...:

    thanks guys!

    BB . . .you really rock. You inspiring me with such selfless prayer. That's what it's all about

    Mademoiselle . ..cool license plate. GOSH I MISSED DRIVING! Buses don't have licenses plates

    Crystal! miss ya .. .and the mailbox key:)

  1. jameil1922 said...:

    GIIIIIIIRL you know i love revelations! and shout outs! lol. and fly shoes! you know i say thank Him for them all! got that from a random nun on tv. i'm sooo working on my patience. the other day i had to pray continuously about those fries i gave up for lent! lol it was so pitiful.

  1. shakhan said...:

    just reading past blogs i've missed. 1st Corinthians is where I go when I come home to see family. I use to live up the block. Just thought that was interesting.