Laws of Attraction

June 6, 2009

Long before "The Secret" hit bookstores a lot of us already knew the secret to getting what you want was believing it would come. Since officially moving to New York two years ago I have been vocal that this city is one of the best to be a single Black woman hoping to settle down with a successful single Black man, much to the sighs of many friends. Im not saying mini Barack Obama's are hanging from the trees (I've met my share of toads), but good brothers are around. And I guess I have been branded that way. 

I had a quick lunch yesterday with one of my friends who is working in the building. I was picking her brain for any story ideas by asking what her and her friends are talking  about and she only had two answers: Men (or the lack of) and Careers. We had the same convo we had a year before on me believing NY was a good spot for the single gal, and this is where I had to slide in I had a lil proof in my own life. Then this morning I got a fun email from my homie Nicole and she included this graph  . . .

I want to hear more about your Sherlock :) I'm so happy for you!! Since I've known you, you've always been an optimistic person about finding a good guy for yourself and knowing that they are out there, so I'm happy someone who sounds like a sweetie has come along! 
I smiled. No, believing good men are out there won't guarantee any will come, but having faith is half the battle - and means you wont be shocked when it happens just like you thought it would. And when those moments do come, just live in the moment because who knows what the future holds . . .

More about Sherlock? Well, last night we got Chinese and had movie night. Watched the latest "Friday the 13th" as two scary movie lovers. He's been great to have while Im away from home and my grandmother is really sick. And I am fighting not to be that girl who gets a man and no one hears from her .  . . can you hear me now? good, good


  1. of course i'm so happy for you and your new boo. BUT i've gotta disagree with you that nyc is the best place for a single black woman. Not only are the brothers not trying to settle down, but many are not trying to settle down with us. You must be in your honeymoon haze...lol

  1. la negrita said...:

    I don't really buy into the "lack of black men" thing either. Then again, I don't make it my life's mission to look for a man. I think black women need to figure out what they're looking for and start from there. What do you want? No, REALLY want...and not just out of a man, because you're probably not going to find it there.

    Still want to find out if Nawlins is where it's at, though. ;)

  1. Southern Girl said...:

    I don't think that NY is the place to be for single black women, but I do believe in possibilities. I also believe in being positive you will meet someone.

    People move here to make something of themselves in their industry and work hard and want to play hard, this isn't always conducive to lasting relationships.

  1. Renaissance said...:

    Love it. You just gave me motivation to write.

  1. About Caila K said...:

    I'm on the fence on this one. Many moons ago I convinced myself that NYC was not the place to be for single black woman. Black men definitely have it tooooo good here to want to settle down. Has that mentality attracted nothing but playas to me? Maybe. I AM a believer in you are what you think so I'm not ruling it out. I hereby make a vow to commit myself to more positive thinking from now on! Or at least to being more open to the possibilities.

    I'm also feeling what La Negrita has to say. I never fully bought into the "lack of black men" mentality either, because everyday I pass a fine black brotha on the street who I do NOT know. It's all about soul searching before soulmate searching.

  1. Maxine said...:

    Minibamas Oh, what a thought. I might just ride on over from down under. I'm really digging you blog. Glad I stumbled on it.

  1. Cee said...:
    This comment has been removed by the author.
  1. Sass said...:

    lol did you write this for me?? you're like that preacher in the pulpit ALL in my business lol

    and I'm keeping your grandmother in my prayers :)

  1. Cosmopolitan said...:

    mmmmm... interesting... I think I recall us of having a way different convo on the lack of quality men in NYC... but growth is evident and and I am inspired by your personal success. This is me keeping hope alive :-/

  1. CJ said...:

    well, well. Like any other convo with women, talking about men gets the party started. Dont hold that one convo against me cosmo, I have an update on the disappearing baller . . .