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I AMMMM Changing!

March 12, 2007
I am.
And fighting it so hard.
One of the beauties of me and best friend's relationship is we are so eerily different yet so much alike. She rids herself of relationships that aren't healthy and doesn't look back. I on the other hand am saying woulda' coulda' shoulda' trying to make things work and in the end she says toldya' as I try and make a friendship or any relationship work when its obvious its not meant to be.
Well, at least that's how I use to be. Lately, I have closed into myself not wanting to make new friends something so uncharacteristic of me. I have been satisfied with you great folks and not wanting to chance someone new disappointing or hurting me. I'll admit, people who I have been "cool" with and have done trifling things lately and I am not forgiving and forgetting and on two occasions decided I didn't want to be friends . ..though I don't think they got the memo and I don't know how to say it.
I feel like God is really working on me though and I'm taking a look at myself to check an ego when someone is genuinely trying to make amends or be your friend and you just don't want to go there. is that wrong? You are probably a great friend to someone, but does that have to be me? Is that completely ridiculous to think you can ever have "enough" friends?
See? I am changing . . .and humming the song of the same title Jennifer Hudson tore up. Shouldn't she just change her name to Dreamgirl? So Dreamgirl is still polishing that Oscar (I LOVE any dress with pockets because you can be fly as you wanna and still look nonchalant and like you aren't trying and this one is no different!) and she also will be the face of a new scent for Avon. Wow, perfume just keeps popping up everywhere in my life:)
Im serious though. I really am changing and really trying to stay open but one thing I'm not going to change to like is kids modeling adult clothes.

It's bad enough to get girls who look like teen boys for ads in fashion magazines but now they are skipping over and going straight for the pre-teen girl. Dakota Fanning is talented . . .and with that comes extreme weirdness. Her new Marc Jacobs ads in Seventeen fine, sell the clothes to teens, but why this morning flipping through the Jessica Simpson Elle or the Vogue with Dreamgirl on the cover did I see her modeling women's clothes in women's magazines when she is not a woman? I read her article in Teen Vogue a few months back (i know Im not a teen . . .but I have to take baby steps to mama Vogue right?;) and she says how she LOVES Marc Jacobs and goes into detail about his clothes. And I'm like wow, isn't she just a tad young. I mean, I gush about his clothes because the man really understands how to make clothes so understated sexy. And trust, my Marc Jacobs dream don't equal a Marky Marc closet. On the occasions I am able to, its a true treat to get an item from Loehman's or Filene's or my lucky MJ Vintage shoe find and then I always get compliments on his stuff and can't even say "It's Marc Jacobs" like I really want to unless I want to look like Im REALLY not use to anything:).
Friday I was at Loehman's and their was this sick purple and cranberry cotton dress that I knew I had to have. It was almost half off and still would have been a splurge - and completely worth it (I've been freelancing and owe myself a belated birthday treat:)! It was so me at the top but the bottom was just way too flowy and long. oh well.

Not sure how Dreamgirl, Dakota and me all wound up in the same post but I guess we do re-enforce one of my fave India lyrics, "the only thing constant is change"


Queen.

2 comments:

  1. Dakota is just a few daquiris away from turning into Lindsay Lohan--I mean, Lohan was JUST LIKE Dakota when she was young.

    just sick of it all!

  1. Elle* said...:

    I agree about Dakota. The thing that that freaked me out a bit was the fact that they made her look so pale, gaunt, and her eyes looks as if they have dark circles, a la "heroin chic". Why is a 12 yr old looking like she's on dope? That waif-y ness is NOT sexy! NOT! and girls her age are going to look at her and they need to look like that. UGH!